Barnstoneworth C vs Ourimbah Match Report

BUFC C running out of time

There comes a time when even the strongest, most enthusiastic and motivated football team must eventually come to terms with the brutal truth of a cosmically indifferent universe. When their team is decimated by injury and the capriciousness of fate; when their entire division is made up of teams that have descended from on high to toy with the minnows below; and when your team belatedly realises, with the crushing finality of a falling coffin lid, that instead of us waiting to play the whipping boys in the division, everyone else is thinking that about us.

But nevertheless, like a punter returning to his favourite dominatrix, we turn up each week to be roundly whipped across the buttocks and to pay for the privilege. This week we were playing Ourimbah, a team we had not previously clashed with, though of course in keeping with our usual misfortune they might as well have been ACL winners last season. With our back line looking like the Spartans before Thermopylae (except with only 2 rather than 300), Our Glorious Leader™ was forced to change our formation again, to a spicy looking 4-2-3-1 – note the Silver Gazelle as lone striker up front. And what a decision this proved to be, when only about ten minutes in, a throw-in to that very same Pierre was whanged into the penalty area by him for the sun-blinded Simon to connect decisively and knock it past their keeper. A tremendous start.

Feisty challenges occurred all over the field, but particularly at left back where Alvaro, playing out of his usual position in our patchwork defence, waged a running battle with one of their forwards – and for once the majority of decision from the ref went our way. We undoubtedly had the better of the first half, but sadly switched off for just long enough for them to get an equaliser after a corner that we failed to clear.

Never mind, 1-1 at half time, that’s salvageable, right?

Apparently not.

Two minutes into the second half and a long ball down their right was picked up by their striker for him to unleash a monster shot that eluded Nick and put them 2-1 up. Our heads stayed up, but only until they got a third a few minutes later after we conceded a penalty. After this we definitely struggled to motivate ourselves, and despite some half decent play we couldn’t muster anything more threatening than a slightly irritated frown. Fill-in player Ryan put himself about a bit, making friends at both ends of the pitch, particularly after a hilariously extravagant dive which was certainly consistent with our shirt’s logo of ‘Drama based training’. Kent and Leigh linked up well in midfield and Harry did strong work at the back, running faster than ever before seen to stop a breakaway attack down their left. Sadly though they did score a fourth, another cracking shot that Nick got a hand to but not enough to keep out.

Into the last ten minutes and suddenly we decided to play again. After a couple of similar attempts that came to nothing, finally a lovely through ball from Tim found space for Kent to run into and in a one on one with the keeper he put it away. This gave us a bit of urgency, if not actual energy (let’s not go that far), and for the last few minutes we had all the pressure. Tim might have added a third in the dying seconds but he used up all his smart footwork on the edge of the box so when the shot finally came it intimidated the corner flag more than it did the goal, but never mind, spirit shown to the last.

The match finished 4-2 and we might feel that come the return fixture, this is one that we could do better with. Or, we’ll just endure it for 80 minutes or until one of us remembers the safe word. Man of the match went to Simon, followed by Harry and Kent, deserved winners all three. Our thanks to Justin and Ryan for helping us out. See you all next week for more punishment, cheers chaps!

2 replies

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *